Getting up on my soap box...

We are now approximately 1 month away from the much-anticipated arrival of baby brother. The girls are excited and big brother has absolutely no idea what we're talking about. I am excited to not be pregnant anymore. I am ready to get through the major adjustment period and find our new "normal" as a family of 6. I'm dying to go for a run and do my P90X and in general, just be able to walk up the stairs or roll over in bed without getting winded. I dream at night about sleeping on my stomach. This little boy is getting very forceful in some of his movements. While it's mostly cute, it's also getting painful. Yup. We have reached the final countdown!

With my due date fast approaching, I have been making a few purchases in preparation for the baby. I don't need much, since we have done this baby boy thing once before not too long ago. My few online purchases have led to some online motherhood type websites/blogs. I have read some of these and have now decided to A) Stop reading them and B) get up on my soapbox. Here's what's bugging me. Ok, it downright ticks me off. I am so irritated with the self-righteous-go-natural-or-go-home movement. Personally, I love having an epidural during the labor process. That is my personal preference. My doctor, who has (at the very least) 8 years of schooling, a residency, and years of practice behind her, finds this to be very safe for myself and for my baby. I'll take her opinion over some Internet statistic any day. I have absolutely no desire to find out if I can go through the whole labor thing "naturally". Doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. I did get to feel big brother when he came out because the epidural wasn't working right there. When his head came out, somebody said something about "You should feel a little relief now." Nope. No relief. I could tell his shoulders and chest were bigger than his head (and that's saying something!) and I honestly thought to myself "That's it, I ain't pushin' any more!" I knew that the epidural not working entirely was a possibility, and I was as mentally prepared as possible for that eventuality. But the experience did not do anything to convince me that "natural" was the way to go for me. Now, I understand that some people really do want to go natural. They find it empowering, it brings them closer to their husband and God, and it is the way they choose to go because that is what they want. I have many friends that have gone natural and feel that is the best way for them for whatever reason. More power to you, if that's what you want! Heck, give birth in a wading pool in your living room for all I care, if that is the experience you're going for. It is not my place to tell somebody else how they should go about labor and delivery. So why is it that so many people who do go natural think that they need to bring those of us who like our epidurals to repentance? Some of these articles I've read quote scripture as a way to back up their way of thinking. Seriously? I personally do not believe for one second that when judgment day comes, God will look at my life and say "Well, you did okay, but you had an epidural with each of your babies, so purgatory for you!" I think He gave us the ability to listen to our bodies, along with some personal intuition, to help us make the decision that is right for our own situation. What works best for me may not be what is best for somebody else. That's why we have the right to choose! It doesn't bother me if you want to experience the birth of your child without any pain reliever. But shouldn't it go both ways? What bothers me so much is that people make these blanket statements. "Everyone should experience natural childbirth at least once." "Women should never have an epidural." "Women who get an epidural lack faith in God's ability to help them get through it." Well, my friend, that may be your personal opinion for your situation, but don't tell me you know what I should do with my body and my situation. What works for some doesn't necessarily work for all. Some women could give birth to each of their children in their own home with no medical intervention whatsoever and have everything be fine. I have 2 little girls that would not be here today if I had given birth anywhere besides a hospital that had the medical tools necessary to help them. We have recently discovered that I have a mild heart murmur. Normally, anyone who isn't a cardiologist can't even hear it. It is not even worth mentioning most of the time, because I eat healthy and exercise, so it doesn't cause any symptoms whatsoever. Pregnancy causes increased blood flow, and that does create some strain. In reading some of the studies on the effects of labor on a person with my particular problems, doctors have discovered that having an epidural is actually the safer way to go. The increased adrenaline that occurs with feeling the pain can cause damage to the heart. After reading some of these published studies and talking to my doctor, I am glad that I've had an epidural with my other children, and I am fully planning on having an epidural with this one. This is why the blanket statements bother me. Yes, most people could do the whole natural thing. But there's a reason that childbirth was a leading killer of women over the last several thousand years. It is a beautiful, natural process. That doesn't mean there is no risk involved to mother and baby. I've had friends that have had the epidural and then go natural and they prefer to go natural. I've also had friends who've done the natural thing and then do the epidural and they much prefer the epidural. We should each make the choice that works best for us, and not be made to feel guilty one way or the other. Someone else once said that she felt she was able to get closer to God and feel the spirit more by going natural. She was sorry that I had not been able to experience that. It irritated me that she felt I couldn't feel the spirit because my body was numb. Delivering each of my children has been a sacred spiritual experience that has confirmed to me the presence of angels in my life and the love my Heavenly Father has for me and these precious little spirits. I was more aware of that with the girls than with Big brother, because when big brother came out I was just screaming and unaware of anything but pain. So for me, I feel that truly experiencing the whole miracle of birth is heightened because I am in no pain and able to be calm. Some people find the intensity of the pain to bring them that heightened experience. We were not all made the same, so why do we insist on thinking that if someone doesn't do things exactly as we would, they are doing them wrong? I have also been told by many people that if I have an epidural, I won't be able to push the baby out as well. Well, Big sister came out with about 15 pushes, little sister came in about 4 pushes, and big brother came after 6 pushes. So being numb doesn't seem to hamper my ability to push them out. Ultimately, we all want the same outcome. A healthy baby and a healthy mother. Do we really have to get so uppity about how women choose to go through their own labor? Shouldn't we just be amazed at the miracle of a new life, however it arrives? Anyway. I'll get off my soap box now.