One of THOSE days...

Several conversations I have had recently have led me to ponder a few things.
The first was on a Sunday, after a particularly tiring 3 hour marathon of church on a day husband had to work. Little sister's nursery teacher told me how sweet she was, and that they never had any problems with her. I smiled and thanked her for telling me, and agreed that my angel is rather sweet. Little sister then proceed to throw a MASSIVE fit as I tried to maneuver through the crowds, while holding baby brother and my two big church bags, and also making sure big sister was staying with me. It got to the point that I could no longer carry her, even by one arm, because she was flailing so wildly. What to do? It was clearly going to take 2 hands and 2 arms to get her to the car. So, I deposited her none too gently on the grass, told her to enjoy her fit, and I took the bags and the boy to the car. Fortunately, her nursery teacher saw her and picked her up for me. She calmed right down, and then proceeded to scream again as soon as I took her from her teacher. Nice. This is, of course, after church, when everyone else is also in the parking lot, so most of our ward got to see her display. Yup. One of THOSE days.

The second was a friend telling me that I was so organized, that my house was always so clean, and that I just had it all together. I'll be honest. Some days, I do feel that way. But to also be honest, she had never been to my house unannounced. Which meant I had always had advance warning/time to make sure my house was clean. It is not always so. In that same conversation, she complained a little that her husband doesn't help unless she really nags him to, which she hates to do. I think that is where my situation differs. My husband likes things neat. More so than I do. He has told me that it makes him feel loved when he comes home from work and there is a meal for him and the house is tidied a bit. So I make an effort to have things mostly picked up and to have dinner ready for him, because I want him to feel loved. It's a good system. However, when he comes home and things aren't picked up and dinner is not necessarily ready, he does not complain or feel like I don't love him. He recognizes that I probably had one of those days, and he pitches in to tidy up, make his own dinner, help with the kids, etc. It is definitely easier to keep things clean when my husband doesn't act like an extra child, and is willing to pitch in and help. It sets a good example for the kids, too. He helps them with their chores, frequently turning it into a game or race so that they're all giggling by the end. As far as that part of his personality goes, I know that not all husband's are exactly like that.

The third was kind of a combination of different conversations with several people about what they expected from life and how it has not turned out that way. I think, especially in the church, we tend to tell the happy part - Grow up, get married in the temple, education, children, church callings, missionary work (not necessarily in that order) and TA DA! Bliss! Well, sort of. I think we forget to tell them that hey, it's a lot of work! And the work part is what helps bring the bliss. But it won't be happily ever after without work. And so some people get disenchanted, because they weren't told to expect that part.

So I've pondered a little. And I've come to the conclusion that sometimes we put out this image that all is perfect, we have got it together, and everything is happy. Sometimes it isn't. There are bad days. We all have them. And not that we need to pour our heart out to the next Wal-Mart greeter who says "How are you?" But with the friends that are closest, or that make those observations. I totally believe in taking compliments. "Wow, that dress looks good on you!" THANKS!!!! 'Cuz I thought so, too, and it's nice to hear someone else say so! But it makes me squirm a little when someone tells me I have it all together. 'cuz I don't have it ALL together. Perhaps I should be more forthcoming. Yup, this particular thing came together fine, but you should have seen the freak-out I had last night! I don't want to put an image of myself out there, especially for my children, that I am perfect. I am not. But I get up every day and I try. I think the biggest thing I want them to learn from me is a positive attitude. I may want to work on actually having one... most of the time I think I do. but I want them to realize that when you have a day where things don't go exactly like you thought it should, it's still all right. Life can still be good and have plenty of happiness. And for those of you who believe my house is always clean, here is my reality:

My bed. I vowed when I got new bedding that I would make the bed every day. Well, that lasted less than a month...

The boy's little toys strewn all over, plus the remnants of the magazine that I didn't have the energy to get off the couch and remove from his clutches.

I still haven't reminded big sister to clear the dishes. 2 hours after dinner. I'm totally letting her eat doritos instead.

I did make dinner tonight. I even doubled the recipe so I could freeze half of it for another night when I really don't feel like cooking. I may even get around to cleaning it up. Tomorrow morning.

Laundry room full of clean laundry. There's a load in the dryer. All of this has been here for 2 days. I may get around to folding and putting it away tomorrow. Because I have more laundry to do and there's no room to do it unless I put away the clean clothes that are taking up all the space.

So there's a little of my reality for today. I accomplished some things, others not so much. Overall, though, my kids are happy and healthy, and I feel pretty happy myself. Not because everything is perfect. Maybe partly because everything is not. And that's ok.