Big brother

Ever since it became apparent that big brother had some delays, he has really kept us on our toes.  His "official" delays are communication and speech.  So he doesn't understand and he can't tell you that he can't understand.  That strikes me as somewhat scary from his point of view.  He is very shy and the fits come pretty easily when his environment seems beyond his control.  I'm constantly questioning whether we're doing the right things for him, or enough.  Usually on the days that are especially hard.  His teachers (and us, as well) get concerned about his attention.  He can disappear into his own world and it can be hard to capture his attention back out of it.  His challenges have me constantly second-guessing my abilities as a mother because sometimes I really, REALLY have no idea what to do for him.

Lately, however, it seems he is turning a corner.  There's part of me that has always known he would, in his own time, start catching up.  I suspect he will always have challenges.  And we will work with those as they come along.  BUT.  I am witnessing little miracles every day in his development.  We went to the dentist last week.  This usually is a scream-riddled appointment for Big Brother.  They have never even tried to clean his teeth because just counting them is impossible.  Last week, though, he stepped up to the chair so brave, opened his mouth, and Let Them Clean!  He'd watched his big sisters, sort of, but I think this was him deciding on his own to do something scary.  He still screamed after the cleaning.  Y'know, when they counted his teeth.  Funny boy.  He fell asleep the other night with NO. BINKY.  Remember how we tried to take it away and nobody slept for two weeks?  Really, I stuck to my guns for two weeks and finally conceded defeat.  The boy needed sleep.  So the fact that he didn't even ask the babysitter for his binky, went to bed on his own and didn't make a peep is HUGE!  I think it may be time to get rid of it.  I need to see how naps go first, but I see a glimmer of hope there!  Last, but certainly not least, two weeks ago he went to Primary.  By Himself.  I was really not expecting that one.  The day before, we'd gone to a baptism and he'd FREAKED when we left the chapel because he thought we were heading to primary.  Husband took little brother to nursery and I took big brother to primary.  I wasn't even planning on really trying to get him to stay.  We'd been introducing the idea of staying to him every week and we knew he'd come around in his own time.  So I walked him to his chair and went to arrange some things at the front.  I then asked if he wanted to come with me to hand out the rolls.  He was kneeling next to his chair with his head on the seat, pouting.  I told him he could come with me, and just started walking toward the back of the room.  I assumed he would follow me like he always does.  But he stayed put.  I kept waiting for the magic to end, but then I watched him get up and sit on his chair.  By himself.  No teachers helping or encouraging, all him.  He sat through all of Sharing Time.  They showed a video of the temple, which was perfect because that is his favorite thing ever.  They started singing time with I love to see the Temple.  His favorite song - he sings it all the time.  I am told by those sitting at the front of the room that he sang along and had the most precious smile on his face.  That is rare - he doesn't share his dazzling smile unless he is comfortable.  Which tells me He. Was. Comfortable.  Do you know how big that is?  He turned around a few times and looked at me, and I was sure that would bring him running, but he just smiled and waved and turned back around.  After the first few minutes when I realized he was really going to stay, I went down the hall to find husband.  With tears running down my face, all I could say was " He stayed!  All by himself!  He stayed!"  I'm sure the people going past us wondered what was going on.  We were both tearing up.  This is a major step for him.  And it confirms what I've always really known about this beautiful son of mine.  We just have to give him time to come around on his own.  No forcing.  He is teaching me patience, for sure.  Not sure if I'm learning very well, but he's teaching me.  How I love my sweet boy and how thankful I am to Heavenly Father for sending him to us!